Sometimes i feel so hopeless about the situation. Everyday i see myself- i'm reminded of my toxic shame and i'm haunted by my past in a schizophrenic manner almost. and the choices i've made.. So I ask myself, what's so wrong with me and why i'm having such a hard time dealing with it? I keep telling myself, i just need to hang in there, until my brain recovers from the damage caused by my meth use... and research overwhelmingly indicates that if i can hang on and stay clean for just 1 YEAR, that my impulse control and my brain will be functioning like a normal person's again, one who has never used meth even once. It makes me hopeful because i'm nearly halfway there, and this is an immense milestone for me... I just really gotta believe in myself and hold onto hope that i can do it...its all possible, if i can remember one liners like my worst day sober is better than my best day high: cause at least today i can say i have good health and i am in active recovery and willing to face whatever needs to be done to move forward instead of behind.