Sitting here in my room all day, watching Paranormal State since I already finished the last episode of my beloved Paranormal Children.  I just can't get enough of these spiritual, occult, paranormal shows.  I don't think I am so much interested in contacting the dead as I am with studying people with psychic abilities... it's just so interesting to me.  Probably largely due to the fact that it validates me and my own personal experiences and my own abilities.  I see that i'm not alone; and that's always nice.  Other than that: I haven't had much going on with my life.  I haven't worked in a month now... probably since Reba died.  I don't want to say its because of that- because even i myself, can see how it sounds like a poor excuse for a case of the lazies- but truly, life has just not been the same for me.  I guess i am coming into terms with losing a loved one. I KNOW that i have the strength within to pick myself up and move forward.  But what happened 2 weeks ago when he was arrested made me stumble and fall down.  But since then- I KNOW that i have been regaining my health.    I am tentative waiting for the day that i wake up and suddenly notice that i feel WELL again, and when those feelings of overflous joy and gratitude overflow my heart again.  The joy of being raw.  I miss it so.  I get fleeting moments of it now, but i am pushing onwards.  The thing about me is- i always have a plan.  I alway know what direction to move it.  So although i may not be where i want to be- i know that one day ill reach that destination- but the thing is by then i will have created new dreams and new destinations.  My life may not be exicitng now, and i may be lonely, broke, and have NO SOCIAL LIFE, but i know that what i have in my future is GOOD.  But for now i gotta keep moving forward (forward is my favorite direction:) )- and stay strong for the people that need me.<3 I trust in the Universe...