I have been increasingly seeing the divine and miraculous in the most mundane of things.I've been remembering my dreams and understanding the messages of my spirit through the symbolism. I am able to feel God within my own body and see the world through the perception of a holographic soul. Lastly I am making the conscious effort to connect to everyone in my life on a heart and soul level. I have experienced an increasing sense of empathy and compassion for all people, and it comes with my newfound courage to willingly share my emotions. That being said, I feel bliss and find joy in the smallest of things and my intention is to free my mind 4ever.

I'm kind of experiencing one of my moods again. It caught me off guard. While I was on the phone with Marv1n--- i felt all these conflicting emotions suddenly rush up on me, and then i just felt suspended in my own frustrations. I know I am releasing emotions that don't serve me, and all the deep issues are beginning to come to the top. I've been ignoring the pain by stuffing it down with drugs and alcohol all these years, and now its all coming up and i need to face it. I ask God to help me through these weak moments, and strengthen my faith that I will come out of this stronger. I know I will as long as I keep pressing forward with patience and self love. I need to be kind with myself and walk myself through this with the knowing that this is a process that requires me to be truthful and loving with myself....

divine intervention♥

It has been challenging, and at times I was afraid of not knowing what was on the other side of the coin, but I have been patient, and I have been willing, and I have been STRONG...

And today I can look anyone in the eye and say that I have been CLEAN for 120 days. =]

Like Jack said, "Life's a gift. And i dont intend to waste it".

I'm just so happy. I am HEALTHY again! I have stayed clean for the longest stretch of time now since the age of 14. It was hard, ill admit it, and there were times when I thought I couldnt do it, but I kept believing, I kept hoping, I kept trusting, and I kept on to my faith that with God holding my hand every step of the way, and with the support of my family and friends' encouragement- that I could do it. I am filled with joy and happiness....I am in a place of peace, and i surrender my life to my Higher Power.

Easter

I am in the no mind right now- the space in which the feeling takes over me-
like I am experiencing a strange illusory part of my soul like i had never done before.

radio

Here we go...Come with me...Theres a world o0ut there that we sho0uld see...
Take my hand...close your eyes...with you out here i'm a Rocketeer. Let's flyyyYyyyyyy.

I've been having the weirdest dreams.

A couple of nights ago I dreamt that i was in the wild in a forest very much like in the movie Twilight. I was with a boy and he was a hunter, very much like Jake. We was handsome and built. We stood at the edge of a cliff looking down at the darkness below. It was a bottomless lake. Dark and grim. Murky and black. I felt anxiety at knowing i might fall in with him. Our surroundings were strange and unfamiliar around me- yet stark and painstakingly haunting and beautiful. Nature can be so dark and brooding. I wondered if we fell in there would be creatures down there to devour me alive. Before i knew it- he grabbed my arm and we dived in. Immersed in the dark lake i was suddenly fearful because i couldnt see below the surface- it was all black. But he held on to me and i felt so safe, because his arms were so strong and fastened tightly around me.

Then last night I had a dream in which i was chased practically around the world into different dimensions by.... a person. But who it was, i forgot. I remember i was expert at escaping them in all situations- i just intuitively knew exactly what to do presented the option before me. They seemed to be threatening- the way the chased me. I was really fearful. At one point i jumped on a huge flower which was floating down the river and i escaped on it like it was a little ship. Then a little puppy hopped on and i broke off the stems and the flower became a floating craft that took us away into the skies.....

I think my dreams are returning.

Me and Thy went to the beach yesterday. The weather was perfect. The skies were beautiful. The air was clear and clean, and i just lay on my yoga mat in pure bliss & ecstasy...............

Wow! The Universe really lined up quite an exiting morning for me today and i really wanna share it with you journal! First of all, I woke up feeling SO uh-ma-zing! Seriously! I was SO excited to get my day started! I'm on Day 2 of my 21 day challenge- in which i plan to work every single day and reinforce a positive habit of getting to work everyday for 21 days- no ifs, ands, or butts! lol! I would accomplish a lot and fulfill multiple ongoing goals of getting excercise and staying fit, putting myself out there more, having more fun outside, and to save money to finance more dance training! wooHooo! This is all just coming together for me! Today i went to Real Raw Live and got my daily supershot! It was so good! haha ! I am addicted to the sting of the ginger and cayenne pepper! I had a forever green and tried a french toast smoothie for the first time: It was SOOOO DELICIOUS! Everything i imagined and more! Gosh was it yummy! Thennnnn I went grocery shopping at Trader Joes on a "hunch" and in the parking lot I was recruited by the lovely ladies for a new fitness dance team! I'm going to have a screening with the coordinator next week and i am freakane excited! The Universe gave me everything i have asked for in the most impossible and exiting ways! I am just filled with so much LOVE and GRATITUDE right now, and i feel a deep inner PEace and JOy that i stuck with this and i keep pressing forward on my journey to rediscovering myself! Wow! This is the BEST DAY EVER!!!!!!!!!

If you loved me you wuld not be using..........