hi

I've been doing 801010 perfectly.  Today is my 5th succesfull day.  I just finished reading a Tupac picture book.  I learned a lot of things about him I never knew.  I've been having so many intense, violent, spiritual, frightening dreams for the past few nights.  I also finished reading a Lurlene McDaniel book.  I loved it.  It was about a girl named Leah who fell in love with an Amish boy named Ethan.  A few days ago i finished reading the best book called The House Next Door.  I'm now trying to read all of the authors books: Richie Tankersley Cusick. I wrote down some of my dreams but im too tired to record them tonight. 

But i just want to say that i love life and everything that comes at me... i deal with peacefully and i'm happy to be able to respond to life in this way.  There's no need to get upset for a long time, just deal with it gracefully and be grateful for it.

nightmare

I had a really hurtful dream last night.  Someone used my atm card to reserve a motel room to smoke meth or something.  It was Flak0.  Very upsetting.  *picks up crowbar threateningly*

dream

I had a flurry of dreams last night and i can only remember the last scene in which I was in a swamp forest somewhere with other adults much older than me outside of a trailer.  They looked like people from the boonies, 2 old ladies and 2 old men,  They reminded me of Adam Sandler's mom on the Waterboy.  One of the old ladies busted out with some peanut butter jelly sandwiches for everyone and i was sooo happy.  They were like french toasted large peanut butter jelly filled sandwiches and drizzled with honey on top!  So delicious!  I must try that combination.  The best part was in my dream i actually tasted the sandwich!  And the peanut butter! and the honey!  It was all TOO good.  I'm drooling just thinking about it,  In my dream the adults i was with, we were on a mission, or about to go on a hunt of some sort.  We definitely we taking a break to discuss our agenda.  I wish i could remember what it was.

yesterday

I woke up and headed to Rosemead early to go to Chi Ut Trai Cay... I got a 12 count carton of champagne mangos and $40 worth of jackfruit!  I'm in tropical fruit heaven. :)
Then I stopped by Real Raw Live for a forever green and my first supershot in months!  I'm going to start on my wheatgrass-e3live kick again. I'm so happy, last night i had the best dream.

In my dream i started out wandering the streets of a ghetto neighborhood.  It felt like I was on Van Nuys Blvd. or some city like Van Nuys or Pacoima.  I felt like I needed to be somewhere safe and inviting.   I walked by a ghetto school and peeked into every classroom.  They were classes for the mentally retarded, each class had students had looked disturbed and there were only about 6 students to each class.  I considered pretending to be mentally retarded just to have a place to go.

I ordered my package from him, approx between $127 .


June 13th or 14, sent him $205 greendot.

dream

spirit dream.

I had a really interactive dream with a spirit last night- it was male.  In my dream I was laying in a dark romantic room in privacy and i remember i had satin sheets\a thin blanket covering me.  I felt a presence enter the room.  It was dark and I couldn't see past my blanket because when he entered he used it to shield me from seeing who he was.  But parts of me could see beyond the blanket and no one was there, but i felt someone right on top of me trying to ride me.  He overpowered me, and he was so much stronger than me, but by no means was he rough with me, even though he definitely was very forceful.  For some reason at the beginning i was shocked to experience this person above me- at first I immediately knew it was an incubi (male demon that tries to have sex with women while they are sleeping), because i've actually had this experience before while i was awake.  It was shocking because he kept going and going, he didn't want to stop.  While i was able to push him back a few times, he was strong enough to assert himself over and over again.  At one point, i just collapsed and gave in, waiting for it to be over.  It's been such a long time since something of this nature has happened to me.  Even though it was a 'dream', i knew that this presence was real.  Upon waking, I can conclude that it was more like a spirit/presence, not a demon.  I never really felt unsafe, i was just confused to who it was.

The other dream was equally powerful.. but i don't really remember it.  I just remember it revolved around a woman, and me trying to protect her,  I wish i could remember the rest, but i cant.